Phantom of the Opera

elanchana:

notesfromtheangel:

i-remember-there-was-mist:

The PHANTOM has come to the party.

The party don’t start til OG walks in

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Prompt #4 – Resistance/Rebellion

appliedluciferianismproject:

Some questions to consider may include: Do you consider ‘resistance’ and ‘rebellion’ to be synonymous or do they represent different values? If it is the latter, which of the two do you see as more important within your practice and how do you apply it to your day-to-day life? Is there any point in which these ideals may be detrimental to your path? Do you have any interpretations than inspire your work toward this ideal outside of the usual ‘Rebel Angel’ mythos?

There are no right or wrong answers. You may also choose to write an entry based on a totally different aspect of this value–the questions provided above are only meant to be suggestions if you are unsure what direction to go with it.

We have two weeks to write responses to this prompt. The deadline is Friday, August 14th.

Entries should be tagged with ‘Applied Luciferianism Project’ if posted directly onto your personal blog. We also accept submissions through the ALP blog. If you would like your submission to be posted anonymously please write a note of that in your entry.

As a reminder, ALL entries are open for reply and discussion. It is through these discussions that I hope we will develop our understanding of the nuances between our practices, the roles that these values play, and methods in which we can apply them to our own lives. Do keep in mind that how we view these values in relation to our faith and practice will vary, and it is often highly personal–please be respectful.

*dusts off devotional jewelry*

Our foundation is still in place – a devotional power dynamic, no major changes to the dynamic itself, Sigyn’s still my Primary, still wants weekly holding of the bowl, stills wants weekly written pieces, and such. I haven’t shared my 30 Days of Devotion posts here yet, but I mention in one that She hinted at godspousery being a future thing (like not soon in terms of the future). It’s still in the future, but some of the specifics around it have changed.

I’m more disinterested and squicked by sex than I thought when She first brought this up, though I’m pretty sure it’s been a gradual shift more so than being in denial the entire time. My Deities have generally been faster on picking up on this than I, since They’ve stopped asking for sexual offerings for a fair while (well, the Two Who even showed interest in this stopped). This means that Horsing and having a Midgard ceremony (complete with consummation) is no longer necessary. There’s nothing wrong with having a Horsed Midgard ceremony without consummation, but I can personally save time, energy, and expenses by focusing more on my private ceremonies if I forgo this option.

I have a feeling that the freeing up of the Horsed ceremony expenses may result in custom pieces that I hadn’t been given a heads up on, but I don’t necessarily need to know those specifics right now. While I’m hoping to touch on collars / devotional jewelry in a separate post, I have a feeling that a noticeable (more related to right now) change will have to do with those. I initially wasn’t sure why She wanted such a variety of day collars (a piece of jewelry that carries the dynamic connotation of a collar without being explicitly obvious to others), but I think I may be finding out.

One is more suited to daily wear, including while working and going to school, and another one can work as a special occasion daily wear option (it may not be suitable for the demands of working in the E-shop for 4 hours every day, but wearing it to Opening may work, for example). I have a necklace from Beth that can work for special occasions as well, though I think it may be more often reserved for shrine wear (on holy days and while holding the bowl).

I technically do have a collar for m’Lady, but I’m careful about who I wear it around (though I suspect I will find it easier once I’m away from family and starting fresh in a new place with co-workers who haven’t experienced me primarily without it). Wearing it before going through the official acceptance of m’Lady’s devotional D/s offer isn’t against any rules I have or anything, but I also may find it easier to wear it more often after the Collaring ceremony just based on mental shifts around that.

Mani’s Void-of-course Face

As I mentioned in the intro post, I have a devotional power dynamic with Him, and He still wants that to remain. Rather than there being any large upheavals, there seems to be tweaking to how we already interact. He’s been shifting to a more ace Face (catching on far more quickly than I that I’m disinterested and squicked by sex). While I can still share info about, for, and offerings specific to His Void-of-course Face, He has realized that He needs to take our needs into account. I don’t know about others, but for me, Void-of-course results in varying degrees of depression and sometimes eating disorder related brainweasels.

From what I’ve been able to divine, He can show different mental illnesses in different degrees of comorbidity to different individuals (so for someone out there, He may have schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder, or both, or some other combination). This past winter I experienced the worst escalation of depression I’ve had to date (seasonal depression with fall / winter onset, and each year has progressively escalated, but this past winter seriously fucking escalated).

He had been hoping that I could interact more with His Void-of-course Face but realized while watching me this winter that I can’t interact to the extent that He had been hoping. We would trigger each other too much and feed off of each other in terms of the brainweasel “thought loops” and altered thinking instead of helping to break them. It relates to why He was so upset with me during that time and for awhile afterwards.

On one hand, He knew I couldn’t control just how bad things got. On the other hand, He had been wanting so badly for me to be able to help this particular Face that it didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t handle interacting with Anyone at all. On another hand, He could see that things weren’t going to go well and couldn’t understand why I didn’t try to get help sooner. And on another hand, He knows that part of brainweasels playing around in your mind is that you can’t see how bad things are getting.

That’s the primary change (as of writing this). I have posts queued up for Him on His sideblog shrine (corresponding primarily to the dates of the lunar phases) all the way through my fall semester back on campus. For now, that’s the main devotional activity I have in mind for Him. Between school’s usual decline in what I do, the expected increase in how busy I’m going to be in my last year of undergrad, the devotional trial period (related to the Infernal Five) and most Others backing off the New Relationship Energy, and needing to adjust to a management plan so that I don’t go through another really fucking bad winter, I’m probably not going to have the time or energy to do anything else, really. (Definitely not a permanent stance, though, and we will get back to something like we had before with more frequent irl stuff.)

Narvi (Older Face)

I primarily talked about what I do for Narvi’s Younger Face in my intro post because it seems to make more sense with the least amount of explaining. I mean, just how complicated can reading a story and ‘tucking’ Him and Vali in for the night (metaphorically speaking) be? The ages of how old Narvi and Vali seem to be with Their Younger  Faces shift, but They’re typically pre-pubescent.

Narvi’s Older Face has always been a little confusing. Because He suddenly uses visual avatars that are my age (20s), and He has this thing for strawberries (wanting an edible offering including them or a post of a recipe shared on a monthly basis), and He’s had this oddly flirtatious vibe about Him. It’s not sexual, and it’s not 110% for sure flirting, and there’s just this suspicious part of me squinting like ‘you’re definitely related to Loki’.

At least that’s how I’ve so far interacted with Narvi’s Older Face, but there’s a reason I do yearly updates on what I do and how I interact with Everyone (it keeps changing). So far, the main shift is that the Older Face has less of a QP vibe [queerplatonic (or quasi- if you’re not comfortable using queer] and seems more aro [glossary link for aro and arospec terms].

*actively ignores some of the glossary because I’m not interested in why some of those seem to make a helluva lot of sense* Other than the aro vibe, the only other change is that the strawberry offering once a month is being tweaked to only occurring from July to November (when the Older Face is the main One; from His death until His cycle Restart on Dec 1st).

*stares at Loki’s shrine in silence*

I wasn’t expecting much of an update for Loki, honestly. A combination of factors have lead a fair amount of Deities I interact with to “go on Vacation” until I’m done with my last year of undergrad (the school year is always busy, but it being my last year will make it even busier than usual), and Loki was the first to share that He was doing this.

On the heels of Odin turning a new Face to me, and in remembering the ritual idea to invite Deities, Spirits, Powers, etc to show a new side / aspect / Face mentioned here, I’m a bit suspicious of Loki gearing up to turn a new Face to me. I’ve interacted with Him briefly with ties to Mardi Gras (rather than April Fool’s), as One of several Powers connected to lightning (and sparks / electricity), with foxy connections, and I’ve interacted with Him in terms of certain acting exercises (it may be surprising for some, but I have had theatrical connections with Loki).

I’ve never been one to seek out Loki as World-Breaker, and I’m reasonably sure part of it has been a sorta-response to some praising the World-Breaker Face Loki turns to them as one of their ‘cruel gods’. The Faces that the Gods turn to us are primarily between us and Them, so on one hand I don’t care. On another hand, I don’t necessarily want a cruel god (or a cruel Face rather). I can be chewed up and spit out by non-cruel Faces, I can submit to and serve non-cruel Faces, I can find blood, tears, and pain without seeking out a cruel Face, and I can seek out cruelty easily enough in my Realm without purposefully seeking it out in my Deities.

I’m not saying they can’t or shouldn’t praise the Faces they interact with, and there isn’t anything inherently “wrong” with cruel Faces of Deities. It’s just never been my cup of tea, y’know? However, sometimes Deities turn a Face to you that you’re not expecting. Right now, I’m pretty sure it’s just a case of Someone liking a pop culture face, but I found myself putting a few Harley Quinn posts in Loki’s tag recently with the distinct suspicion of this being a World-Breaker Face.

*laughs into the void* So, apparently I’m not wrong. Loki is turning a Harley Quinn-esque World-Breaker Face to me at the moment.