From Toxic Ancestors (links to full piece, not the WP post):
My paternal grandfather, F, was physically abusive to both his wife and son and had a few vices. While he was alive, alcohol was an influencing factor in his abuse, and he was particularly fond of using a belt on his son.
J, the father of my maternal grandmother, was sexually abusive to some of his daughters, who are all currently still alive. Alcohol was an influencing factor in his abuse as well. G, the mother of my maternal grandfather, was emotionally abusive.
Her abuse stemmed from her personality, so she will always have a certain amount of toxicity, though it is possible for me to reduce her amount. With enough time, it is possible for me to remove all of F and J’s toxicity.
Why I chose to interact with these toxic ancestors:
I chose to ignore F when dealing with my paternal line initially. He died before I was old enough to form memories, so I felt no desire to interact with him until I faced a situation in which I was reminded of my paternal grandmother. In her words, she “isn’t a spring chicken anymore”, and I had to contemplate the matter of her meeting F in whichever afterlife is applicable.
I decided that I would interact with him in order to reduce his toxicity and hopefully make it easier for his victims when they pass (if they run into him). I’ve taken this stance with each of the three toxic ancestors I know of, within the past few generations with living family members who talk about them, but that doesn’t mean that anyone else has to.
I also generally covered how I approached doing elevations for all three of them, and I’m certainly not saying that others have to use the same methods. I returned to the idea that working with ancestors is personalized in the piece, and this is one of those areas where it just depends on what will help the toxic ancestor the most [edited below for ease of reading from piece]:
All three of these ancestors were Christian with F specifically being Catholic. This meant that I needed to use a Christian framework – including Jesus and God in the requests for toxicity being removed, including a request to the Saint F was closest to, and not including any Deities outside of the Christian God.
I also needed to include the praying of the rosary. They each had a particular day of the week they wanted me to start on, and I prayed the Mysteries of the day for a week. At their request, all of the elevations were to take part during Lent with specifically tailored requests for helping them all to be said on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
I gave up desserts and also didn’t eat meat (other than certain fish / seafood dishes) on Fridays for the duration of Lent. In addition to having specific prayers for reducing these ancestors’ toxicity, I also did a general elevation for all of my other known ancestors during the rest of Lent.