Words to Remember Angrboda By

on being raised on fairy tales in which you are the monster // a. m. h. (Source.) There’s a little bit of commentary by a Dark Side poster (Star Wars) that I wanted to pull out:

IME, looking other villains in the eye and thinking “family,” and looking at the people who tried to make you hate your own and thinking “I’m not YOURS,“ is both a matter of pride and a matter of sheer survival.

Fin: Odin

((I bet you thought you saw the last of me ))

I wasn’t really expecting a new Face while I was trying to figure out what to do in the clean up of /A\ leaving, but Odin decided to give it a go. I was prompted to return to weekly prayers post-Burning, but I admittedly didn’t get very far before updates started happening. For Odin, I was directed to Rúnatýr by Sarenth Odinsson to be said on Wednesdays.

Yup, a rune-associated Face turned very briefly towards me. I was initially given the green light on learning a set of runes, but it didn’t take very long in the rounds of updates and conferences to have that revoked. However, my rune tattoo taboo has been altered – spelling out a name (or perhaps a phrase) is permissable, but I can’t do anything ‘magical’.

I really didn’t know this Face before He needed to Leave, and I’m not sure I can say that I really know Odin. He seems to like to figure out a way to come back a lot, but there’s enough of a change from one Face to another that I haven’t indirectly honored Him. He claimed past blood donations, so I no longer have that area of debt (mentioned in relation to previous Faces). Going forward, He’d like to leave a suggestion that if I fall in love with learning about a subject that Someone has requested then I can stave off the cranky, ‘I’m only doing this because You want me to’ trap of requested activity.

Memo from Dad

Yes, another dream from the third of 2016 without laptop / wifi. This one is relatively less weird. Dated 10.31.16: Dream relating to prison.

A male teen was supposedly trick-or-treating as a “serial killer” with a face mask and a real knife. He didn’t say, “Trick or treat”, when I opened the door and instead raise the knife like he was going to stab me. I panicked, twisted his wrist so he’d drop the knife, and pushed / kicked him so he’d back up enough that I could close (and lock) the door. It wasn’t as clear cut cycle / repeat as some dreams, so sometimes details would just kinda change as I tried to explain what happened to other people in dream (push / kick, f’ex). Either way he fell backwards off the porch and hit his head on our concrete walkway (and sometimes had a sprained wrist).

His mother was watching from a bit of a distance and pressed charges; we live one house away from the sheriff’s department, so in dream they appeared to arrest and book me. I tried to plead to an assault charge, but because the guy died in the hospital several days later from brain swelling, his mother wanted to go for a murder charge (“I used undue force” and over-defended myself).

With repeats, the rulings and sentences changed; sometimes I plead to assault and sometimes I was found guilty of a lesser murder charge. At some point, I think someone was explaining that I could face 5 years of jail time, but I’m not 100% sure what the ultimate sentencing decision was (I did wind up in jail for murder, though). While in prison, I wrote to someone through a penpal service and got a chain tattoo around my neck with “Gleipnir” involved in the design somehow. //End//

While this does seem a bit alarming on the surface, at the time I wasn’t overly concerned about any foreshadowing. I wind up with the weird metaphor shit more so than anything relating to prophetic dreams. Around this time was also when I was mulling over the pros and cons of taking up letter writing at some point, so the main message was support from Fenrir (particularly if I go for a inmate penpal service).

This was also Fenrir’s way of dropping the idea of a devotional tattoo for Him, but I actually can’t get the exact tattoo from the dream. The name “Gleipnir” itself was incorporated into the design of the interlocked chain (no breaks or missing links; “eternally connected links”), which are both no-nos. Either one of these, but especially combining both, would lead to an energetic equivalent of Gleipnir. As a cub of Fenrir, I can’t handle that, and I would just wind up hurting the wolf in me in some way. The overall request has been noted, though, and we’ll work out details for something in the future.

Fin: Frigga

I was prompted to return to weekly prayers post-Burning, but I admittedly didn’t get very far before updates started happening. For Frigga, I was directed to Hymn to Frigg by Michaela Macha to be said on an alternating Friday schedule.

I kind of feel like I never really got to know Frigga because I was in different lockdowns, things were updating, or People were Leaving. For the relatively brief time we interacted, I was mainly asked to Adult to the best of my abilities for Her. Striving for independence instead of relying on someone else is the large picture means of indirectly honoring Her, even as we officially part ways going forward.

RHPS Dream

Another dream record hidden away in my “waiting to be transcribed to my Google doc” pile. Dated 10.23.16: Dream relating to Rocky Horror Picture Show (2016 remake).

My sister had dvr-ed Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do The Time Warp Again (the 2016 remake released this past fall), and while I knew some cultural references and recognized some gifs, it was my first experience with any version of RHPS. (I never got to see the annual live performance in Athens during undergrad, so I’m still a virgin for attending a show, particularly as it relates to the original.) The night my family watched it [10.21.16] I had a dream based on attending a show at some point in the future (based on which tattoos and piercings I already had in the dream).

It’s not going to get explicit, but it is going to get weird, so there’s a read more just in case.

Continue reading “RHPS Dream”

Fin: Freya

I was prompted to return to weekly prayers post-Burning, but I admittedly didn’t get very far before updates started happening. I was supposed to say a prayer for Freya on an alternating Friday schedule, but She didn’t convey Her pick before updates closed this down.

I know there’s more to Freya than what I’ve shared here (queer friendly and helping cats), especially since others seem to talk about the badass warrior, own your sexuality, seidr working aspects, but I never really personally got any of that. I wasn’t slated to get a certain side (seidr), or I was afraid on some level and delayed a side. I know there are areas that She would’ve liked to get to in shadow work, but they aren’t exclusive to directly interacting with Her (learning how to love myself, including myself in body positivity, uninstalling negative romantic and/or sexual conditioning, etc).

It’s not like I’ve missed my window of time for learning or unlearning, and for better or worse, I don’t think I actually can avoid any of those topics She wanted to bring up. Even though She’s leaving and I won’t be directly interacting with Her, Someone else will nudge at shadow work, or I’ll reach my last straw and be motivated to do something on my own. It’s not an if so much as a when I’ll finally get around to these areas.

More in the realm of parting requests, Freya would like me to help a charity or organization, like Others have requested, but She doesn’t want to indicate any particular one animal program over another – “a local animal shelter / org / charity / etc”. She also has the latent energy from Her tags here, on tumblr, and on the Vanic sideblog.