I’m a bit scattered with a borderline frantic edge lately. I’ve already covered that I’m reasonably sure my tumblr blogs will survive after the 17th, but it’s like the Fork Theory (see below). Fork: My grandfather’s birthday is coming up on the 16th (the one who died this past Sept; TW: Cancer II). Fork: Thanksgiving was hectic but did manage to distract us from this year being the first without him. However, due to our family being spread out and some living out-of-state (preexisting) and Words at Thanksgiving (new), Christmas won’t be like that. It’s always been a smaller affair featuring my grandparents, mother, and sister.
Fork: Yesterday, my mother, sister, and I went Xmas shopping, and I made myself sad in the middle of Walmart looking at calendars. It’s something that he used to cover exclusively until I found more specific ones in one of the bookstores on campus (so I would cover my mom and sister), and I automatically reminded myself that I shouldn’t get xyz because he would cover it. Fork: I’ve already lost content to communal blogs and people have (justifiably) left tumblr, and I feel like I’m losing time before whatever the final fracturing of some communities will be on the 17th.
I can’t control the vast majority of this. I feel like I’m back in a grind-to-cope coping mechanism (basically how I got through college), and if I can just Do Enough I might be able to limp across the finish line. The only problem this time around is that I don’t have an extensive external structure with multiple sources of pressure to keep me upright and Doing. I dug out an old sketchbook with the goal of trying to make my own planner instead of buying a prefabricated one. I switched between Google docs with WIP plays, WIP fanfics, and the barest skeleton of what I might try to hammer out during next year’s Nanowrimo.
I looked up yarn weight info because I’m trying to get back into knitting (and I have a skein of Mystery Yarn that I’ll need to do some gauge swatches on before I know if it’ll work for a certain project). I found out that my LJ is probably dead, but it does mean that looking at Dreamwidth resources for tumblr transferees made a little sense. I browsed through my language tags on my fandom/misc. tumblr (eventually, I’ll settle on one language to try to learn). My concentration may be shot to hell or sporadic so I couldn’t do much today, but I can devote a somewhat stupid amount of effort to this blogging situation.
Is it *truly* the best use of my time, energy, and mental resources? Probably not, but I can control something while importing or manually cross posting sideblogs. In hindsight, some of the gifsets may have worked out better in terms of my media storage limit if I had gone a different route than a straight forward import, but overhauling my theme, about, pages, and such is the easiest fork to address right now.
[Copying the important explanation from user jenroses:
“Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory?
If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time.
But it has a corollary.
You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right?
Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens.
A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.””