Part Eight (Getting Started or Determining Interest)

Where to Start

Depending on a person’s existing knowledge of BDSM, it can be helpful to do some research into that community. For those who don’t want to go traipsing around in some of the more overtly sexual sections, it may be useful to look for informational guides and introductions to D/s. Please note that these are likely to be written within the structure of Dom*s being male and subs being female, and there may be various amounts of weeding in order to discard information that doesn’t apply to Deity/human dynamics.

If someone hasn’t had a Deity show up and express interest in this, it may be helpful to look through personal accounts in order to get an idea of what exactly (role in dynamic) does. A person can decide ahead of time that devotional power dynamics just aren’t for them and let that be known for any Deities that drop by and wish to interact. If someone isn’t opposed to the idea or a Deity has showed up and offered this, they may wish to address what type of relationship they feel comfortable with – romantic, sexual, a combination, platonic, etc. Resources on godsex / spiritsex may be helpful.

No one has to engage in sexual activity with a Higher Power, even if they engage in sexual activity with a different Higher Power. If someone decides that they don’t want to have a sexual relationship with the offering Deity, they should make sure to communicate this clearly. If the person is flexible on the issue, or doesn’t want to engage in certain types of sex, it may be helpful to use a limit checklist (from the BDSM community).

This can be important in setting up boundaries, so the human doesn’t waffle back and forth to the point that they’re talked into something they weren’t expecting. It will depend on whether or not any activity that requires a safeword will happen as to whether the human will need to develop a safeword with the Deity. If someone doesn’t engage in play or sexual behavior, there may be less of a need to have a safeword.

However, if the dynamic is based around Work, and the human wants / needs to take a break, a safeword may be an appropriate shortcut to signal to the Deity that there needs to be a discussion on Workload. The decision to include a safeword may come down to whether the human thinks a regular process of communicating with the Deity on how things are going and how to continue is enough.

Keep in mind that this is general advice about starting or determining if you’re even interested in incorporating D/s into your devotional relationship. Even if you look into human-human dynamic examples, and even if you follow others who are doing something with a Deity, your relationship is still your own. You ultimately will have to discover certain things and deal with the individualized nature of your relationship with your Deity, Power, Spirit, etc. on your own.

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