In mid-February of 2017, I sent an ask to Gef on tumblr for a FotN oracle reading, even though I do have the deck. (Sometimes, it’s interesting to see how other people will interpret a reading.) I got:
Night-Blooming Cereus (Understanding). A new perspective might be needed. Keep focused, avoid giving away your power. A question you may wish to ponder: What is going on right now that may help or hinder my path?
By my own divination, I was able to figure out that it was about this Njord / Poseidon ship I refer to as “brocean”. I had to process a certain amount of gentleness and emotional connection within this ship because two ‘men’ in a ship can still be gentle and emotional (I have mlm human ships to go off, but Deities technically don’t fit in human gender terms). I need to keep focused on the inevitable process of embodying my People instead of giving too much power to recon or revival polytheism / paganism (certain specifics of blending traditions aren’t relevant to me).
I am the ocean and the gentle lap of the waves against the sand. I am the give and take of the tide, knowing when to compromise and when to hold firm. I move around rather than trying to force my way through. I don’t have to be immovable, stoic, and emotionless. I feel, express emotions, am gentle. The ocean isn’t always calm, but that doesn’t mean I can only feel anger or a particular slice of the actual emotional spectrum. I can be the cool water and the warm sun.
Hindrances. Well, I didn’t exactly internalize problematic socialization from nowhere, so I need to uninstall and fix how I view and react to others and myself. Depending on the exact issue, it’s sometimes easier to change how I relate to others than how I relate to myself and vice versa. I may not want to feel certain emotions because it’s uncomfortable af, and I may disguise certain emotions because of reactions from others (their socialization or “Society”), for example. It’s almost a matter of creating myself as my own role model in some areas, since I’m not aware of major existing representation to look to.
A few days later, after opening my own deck (includes a guidebook), I added to my notes that while “sensual aspects of ships are highlighted” I shouldn’t “lose my purpose”, or in less direct quotes, a queer relationship — a queer identity — is more than the physical, sexual activity that may or may not happen. I don’t have to publicly share my personal point on the allosexual – asexual spectrum [irl] because my “sexual orientation” is more than answering who’d I fuck.
The guidebook also mentions that ‘sensitivities may be heightened’, so grounding may be beneficial. At the time, Nidhogg was more the one for grounding info, but brocean would like to obviously point out the benefits of grounding in fluidity (water). Also – controlled breathing; awareness of blood flow / heartbeat; and listening to a heartbeat, someone breathing, or something rhythmic (not limited to the ocean).